ower before you were born.  She adjusted you a little to make you a better companion for Kerri, and better able to help her in what she had to do.
	Adjusted?
	I recall that Mother said that she made you smart enough to keep up with Kerri.  I think she also instilled into you a loyalty to Kerri that would keep others from luring you away from her, he answered.  But thats all she did.  No divine powers, nothing that made you any different than any other Wikuni except for the fact that youd be smarter than most of them and they couldnt bribe or persuade you to change sides.
	She seemed to digest that for quite a long time, her eyes flashing from time to time as that remarkable mind of hers analyzed this information.  Thats all?
	Thats all, he told her.  But since you are an Avatar of Kikkalli, she can use you as a direct doorway into our world.  Thats what she did yesterday in the throne room.  But that didnt come from you, it came from her.
	Miranda was quiet a long time.  Id never been so terrified in my life, she shivered.  It was like Id been pushed out of my own body.  I could see and hear everything, but I couldnt stop it, and I couldnt get control of myself.  It was like I was watching myself do all those things, and the feeling of the power frightened me like Ive never been frightened before, she admitted.  I was terrified the whole time, and when it was over, I ended up back in control of myself so quickly that I was overwhelmed by it all.
	Does that help, Miranda? he asked, putting a paw on her leg.
	A little, but it doesnt change much, she answered honestly.  I still feel like Im, Im, Im someone else.  Nothing makes sense anymore.  All this time Ive been living a life thats a lie, because it was a life without knowing what I know now, a life where I really didnt have any choices.  I cant help but ask if this is really who I am.
	It was much the same as before, but at least her statements lacked the histrionics.  These were the observations of a rational woman, not the frenzied half-formed impulses of a frightened girl.
	Youre Miranda, he told her.  You are my friend, and you always will be.
	She gave him a wan smile, a pitiful attempt at the cheeky grin for which she was so famous.  But who is Miranda, Tarrin?  I hope you can tell me, because I honestly dont know.
	That, well, I cant help you there, he sighed.  Who truly knows who we are?  Not even we do, sometimes.
	Not like this.
	Yes, like this, he told her.  I feel that way myself sometimes, but theres usually so much going on in my life, I dont have any time to think about it.  He looked to her.  Do you know what happened when I destroyed Val?
	She gave him a curious look.  We were there, Tarrin, she told him.  You bloody well nearly blew up the entire world.  Theres still a hole in the ground some twenty miles wide up there, and Kerri says there always will be.
	Thats what you saw, Miranda.  Do you know what happened between me and him?
	Everyone knows that, Tarrin.  You used the Firestaff and became a god, then turned around and destroyed both Val and yourself.
	And I came back to life.
	You planned that, she reminded him.
	I did, but I didnt expect what happened afterward, he confided.  Mother--Niami, she told me when I used the Firestaff to become a god, it changed my soul into a gods soul.  When Mother used my hair and the Soultrap to restore me, she said that my soul was still a gods soul.  He sighed and looked at her.  Theyre all afraid of me, I think.  The gods, he told her.  Im not supposed to be here.  When I used the Soultrap to save myself, I came back as a mortal, but I still have a gods soul.  The gods call me a demi-god, because I have a gods soul placed inside a mortals body.  Mother thinks that I might have some abilities from when I was a god, but I think shes wrong.  Ive been back for over a year now, and nothing unusual has happened.  I dont really think about it, though.  I cant change it.  Nobody can.
	So, Miranda, when I tell you that I can relate to what you may be feeling, believe me.  Youre not the only one whos not sure what you really even are.
	She was quiet for a long moment, then put her arm on his shoulder, right over his brand.  Thank you for telling me that, Tarrin, she said quietly.  I get the feeling that its not something youd share with anyone.
	I told Triana, he admitted.  But then again, I dont really keep any secrets from her.  Whats the point?
	Miranda chuckled ruefully.  No argument there.  She finds out what she wants to know, and nobody can stop her.
	Exactly.
	I guess were kindred spirits, then, she told him.  People who dont really belong anywhere.
	We belong where we belong, Miranda, he said.
	She laughed.  Thats a silly statement.
	Is it?  We belong where we are, Miranda.
	Is it? she mirrored.  Im here, I belonged, because I was made to belong.  Remember?  Thats what I dont think you can understand.  Are my friends really my friends, or are they just people that the Avatar in me forced me to like?  Is this really where I belong?  Is this the life I was meant to have, or the life that I was forced to want?  I just dont know anymore, Tarrin.
	Well, then you need to find out, he announced.
	What?  How?
	You remember what Kikkalli said.  She said that nobody has to hide behind the masks that politics forced on them anymore.  That includes you, Miranda.  Now that the nobles wont dare lay a finger on Kerri, she doesnt need you the way she did before.  That means that you have the time to discover what you want for yourself.  Wikunas not going to fall apart if youre not here to keep it all together, at least not anymore.  For the first time in your life, you can do whatever you want, be whatever you want.  So you should go find out and see the world, go out and explore, go out and find out who Miranda really is.
	And when you find out, well all be right here waiting for you, he told her.  Because I know that this is where you belong.  You just need to find that out for yourself.
	She looked at him for a long time, and then she burst into tears and hugged him.  I dont know who I am anymore or where I belong, but the one thing I know is that youll always be my friend, she announced jerkily.
	Thats all that matters to me, Miranda, he told her gently, patting her on the back.  Thats all that matters.

	He didnt want to see her go, but he knew that it was for the best.
	Miranda commandeered Tarrin as soon as she recovered herself, calmed down enough to be able to think properly.  She didnt want to tell anyone that she was leaving, mainly because of all the rumors that were flying about her, and the fact that Tarrin could tell that she didnt want to have to face anyone else, not even Keritanima.  That was a very easy thing to do when ones friend had the capability of taking her anywhere in the world where he had once been for a reasonable amount of time.
	And so, about an hour after their serious talk, Tarrin and Miranda disappeared from Wikuna.  Miranda hated boats--she was probably the only Wikuni alive that did--so she had him take her to Dayis, the one place where a Wikuni would attract absolutely no attention outside of Wikuna itself.  He gave her a purse full of gold and the assurance that he wouldnt disturb her, but if she ever got in trouble, hed know about it and come to help.
	And how would you know that? she had demanded on the docks of Dayis.
	Kikkalli will know, shell tell Mother, and Mother will tell me, he answered bluntly.  Or she may simply ignore etiquette and contact me directly.  Either way, I dont care, as long as they tell me in time to get to you before something bad happens.
	How is she going to know?
	He gave her a condescending look.  Miranda, youre an Avatar, he told her.  That means that you have the gift of a god inside you.  The god who gave you that gift has a connection to you, and thats Kikkalli.  Shell know where you are, and shell know if you get into trouble you cant handle.
	You mean that my whole life, Kikkalli has seen everything Ive ever done? she asked, her nose paling slightly in shock and humiliation.
	Yes.  But since its Kikkalli, I dont think shed be overly offended by your actions, he told her. After all, she put you with Keritanima to protect her, and Kikkalli is more than familiar with the seedy nature of Wikuni politics.
	Its embarrassing, she had said in a guilty tone.
	How do you think Id feel if I werent a Were-cat? he had snorted.   I have a bloody audience watching me, all the time.
	Miranda had given him a startled look, then burst into laughter.  I guess to them, youre nothing but an actor on a stage, peforming for their entertainment, she teased him.
	I need a new line of work, he had grunted.
	He left her not long after that, after a few quick and emotional farewells, and numerous warnings from Tarrin that shed better take care of herself.
	He had mixed emotions about it.  He didnt like simply abandoning her in Dayis that way, but in another way, he fully understood what she was going through and what she needed to do to return peace to herself.  He had needed a journey of self-discovery of his own to come to terms with his ferality and learn how to control it, when the Goddess had sent him through the desert, and now Miranda needed a journey to discover who she was.  It couldnt be easy for her.  In her eyes, her very existence had come into question, and she had to find out for herself if she really was her own person, or if she was nothing but a shadow, a puppet, a pet of the god who had, to her, created her.  Everything that she was had come into question, and that kind of inner turmoil was something to which Tarrin could easily relate.
	He was just being overprotective, and he knew it.  Miranda had spent most of her life with Keritanima, and under her protection, but she was a big girl, wise in the ways of the street and very cunning.  Shed be just fine.  In a few months, he hoped, shed get off a Wikuni ship back in Wikuna with full confidence in herself and at peace with the revelation of her being.  Knowing Miranda, shed own that ship.
	That little bit of business successfully brought to a close, Tarrin tersely told Keritanima that Miranda was taking a personal journey.  Keritanima shouted and threatened and raged and harangued--she even begged--but Tarrin would not tell her where hed taken her.  She was about to send out her fleet to track her down and bring her home, just as her father had done to her, but Tarrin bluntly told her to butt out of it.  It was something that Miranda needed to do, and the last thing she needed was Keritanima putting her hands into something that was an entirely private matter.
	How can you be so calm! Keritanima raged at him as they stood in her private bedchamber.  Rallix, Binter, and Sisska were with them, as they almost always were near Keritanima.  We cant leave Miranda out there by herself, Tarrin!  Shes family!
	You have little faith in her, Tarrin said, almost coldly.  And youre being very selfish.
	Im what? she said hotly.
	You want her back because you dont want her to go.  Thats all it is.  You dont care that Miranda needs to do this, because all you can think about is the fact that Mirandas not here.
	Rallix, who was sitting at the desk, tried to suppress a chuckle, which earned him a withering stare from his wife.  Shes family, Tarrin, and we dont abandon family.
	Rationalize it any way you want, Kerri, he said with a wave of his paw.  But the only reason you want her back is because you dont want to be without her.
	Keritanima was silent, but she did manage to glare at him quite impressively.
	Mirandas a big girl, Kerri.  Shell be alright.  And Im going to be watching her, so shes not going to get into anything that I cant get her out of.
	Sisska nodded simply.  Then the matter is settled, she announced in her deep bass voice.  I trust you with my child, Tarrin.
	Dont change sides on me now, Sisska! Keritanima said indignantly.
	There are no sides, she answered.  I will worry for Miranda, but if Tarrin watches over her, then I know she will be safe.  If this is what Miranda wants, then so long as Tarrin protects her, I have no reason to object.  Miranda is an adult.  She can make her own decisions.
	Truly, Binter agreed.
	Oh, what good are you two! Keritanima snapped at them.  Right when I needed you to help me win this argument, you bolt on me!
	Youre being silly, dear, Rallix chimed in, in his reasonable, mellow voice.  Your heart is doing the talking here, not your mind.  Dont you trust Tarrin to make sure Miranda doesnt get into trouble?
	Keritanima, backed into a corner, glowered at her husband.
	And you are being selfish.  Miranda needs some time away from us and away from what happened yesterday.  Im sure shell appreciate how worried you are when she comes home, but until then, the best thing we can do is give her the space she needs.  Well just trust that Tarrin can keep her out of trouble.  Well, out of big trouble, that is.
	Alright, Im worried, I admit it, she said in an ugly tone.  But she shouldnt be alone.  We all find out yesterday that shes, shes an Avatar, and now she runs away on some stupid journey!  She needs someone to be with her right now!
	Thats the last thing she needs, Tarrin told her.
	How would you know? she said in an accusing tone.  Just because youre the great and mighty Tarrin Kael, it doesnt mean you know everything!
	This is something I know quite a bit about, Kerri, he said in a mild tone.  Just take my word for it.  Right now, Miranda needs time alone.
	But what if--
	There is no what if, Tarrin interrupted her.
	What if she doesnt come back!? Keritanima blurted, then immediately her face fur ruffled.
	If she doesnt come back, it wont be because she doesnt love you, Kerri, Tarrin told her seriously.  You know, Miranda watched you grow up from a spoiled little girl into an intelligent, mature woman.  I think its about time you gave Miranda a chance to do the same.  You cant make her stay what you want her to be all her life, Kerri.  Everyone has to let go, even you.
	Keritanima gave him a very long stare, then sighed and walked over to Rallix, and then sat down in his lap.  Rallix put his arms around her waist, and she leaned against him.  Am I that transparent? she admitted.
	If I didnt know you so well, Id say no, Tarrin answered.
	Its just not going to be the same without Miranda.  Its going to beempty.
	Tarrin glanced at her, then looked to Binter and Sisska.  They stared back evenly.  Should we tell her? he asked.
	We debated it earlier, and decided against it.  What right do we have to ruin it? Binter answered.  But perhaps now it would be a blessing for her to know.
	Know what? Keritanima asked.
	What do you think? Tarrin asked the Vendari.  Where should they put it?
	Her Majestys study would be the best place, Sisska answered.  It only opens to this room, and has no window.  Its the easiest to defend.
	Know what? she demanded.  Dont make me give you a Royal command, Binter!
	I am surprised she does not know, Sisska said chidingly.
	Shes grounded in her sense of smell, and its hard for us to smell our own scents, he answered her.  And it hasnt been long enough for her to figure it out the usual ways.
	Know WHAT? Keritanima shouted.  Somebody had better tell me before I send Rallix out to find an axe!
	Not me youre not, he said with quiet authority.
	Tarrin turned and looked at her.  You wont feel empty for very long, he told her.
	It took her a few seconds to figure that cryptic statement out, but she obviously did.  Her amber eyes went wide, then she gave a squeal and hugged a startled Rallix tightly as she kicked her feet against the floor.  Ive got to tell Mir-- she said breathlessly, then cut herself short.  Well, Ive got to tell Allia and Jenna, she sighed, then she laughed and hugged Rallix again.
	Mind explaining it to those of us who have no idea what that meant? Rallix said mildly.
	Keritanima is pregnant, Tarrin told him.  Congratulations, Rallix.  Youre going to be a father.
	Shes--Really?--Oh my dear goodness, he said in surprise, then he laughed and hugged his wife lovingly.  How long?
	Today, Tarrin answered.  Last night, if we want to get technical.
	Today? Rallix said in surprise.  How on Sennadar can you know that?
	Her scent changed the instant she became pregnant, he answered.  I could smell it all over her as soon as I came in here.
	How did you two know? Keritanima asked the Vendari curiously.
	We have our own senses, and they are greatly attuned to you, your Majesty, Binter answered.  We could sense it this morning when you and his Highness awoke for breakfast.
	Cant a girl keep a secret around here? Keritanima said crossly, then she laughed and hugged her husband.  Were going to have a baby! she squealed in delight.  I wonder if its a boy or a girl, she said immediately.
	Its too early to tell yet, Tarrin told her.  But if you do want to find out, take a look in about a month.
	Miranda should be here for the birth, she said adamantly.
	Well have to see, Tarrin told her.  But for now, I have to get back home.  I know Trianas going to punish me for interrupting the training, even if it was necessary.
	Well, at least Ill get some satisfaction out of knowing that someones going to make you suffer, she teased.
	It certainly wont be you, he stated.
	She laughed and bounded up and across the room, then jumped into his arms.  I love you, Tarrin, she announced happily.  Well all have to gather for the birth, just like we did with Camara.
	I think we can arrange that, he agreed, giving her a gentle squeeze.  But for now, I really have to go.  Ill keep Miranda out of too much trouble, I promise, but Ill try not to interfere unless its absolutely necessary.  Those bad experiences may help her just as much as the good ones.
	You have gained wisdom as well as power, Tarrin, Binter said with a nod, as Keritanima returned to Rallixs lap.  As it always should be.  Great wisdom is the temper which holds great power in check.
	Nobody ever accused me of wisdom, Binter, Tarrin told him evenly, then he padded over towards the door.  You still coming to dinner at mothers tomorrow? he asked once he reached it.
	And pass up the chance for some of Elke Kaels famous venison stew?  Not in this century, she replied with a light laugh.  My cooks think Ive gone insane, but then again, they refused to try what Elke made me bring back last time.  I think theyre afraid of losing their jobs.
	Just try to show up on time this time, and it may not be cold.
	Its the time difference, Tarrin! she said defensively.  Whats dinner for you is lunch for me!
	Allia has it rougher.  Dinner at your parents house is a very late supper for her, Rallix noted.
	And she manages to show up on time, Tarrin announced with a hint of accusation in his voice.
	Hmph.  Shes not a queen either, Keritanima said pompously.
	That crown of yours doesnt reach very far into Sulasia, Kerri, Tarrin told her as he opened the door, and mothers not very impressed by it.  Show up late again, and she might make you stand out on the porch while the rest of us eat, queen or no queen.  Thats what she always used to do to me when I didnt make it home in time for dinner.
	You dont have my charm and wit.
	Well see how far it gets you, Tarrin said with a sarcastic glance.  See you tomorrow.
	Tomorrow.  And thank you.
	Any time, he said as he stepped out and closed the door behind him.

	It wasnt hard at all to get back into the rhythm of the rigorous training that Triana was giving him, but for the first few days there were plenty of distractions.
	The first of which was the dinner at his mothers house, which had become something of a monthly ritual for those who were considered part of Tarrins immediate family.  Usually, the female Were-cats werent invited along, and that rankled Jesmind like nothing else that happened in the routine of their daily lives.  It wasnt that his parents didnt like Jesmind or Kimmie or Triana, but there was only so much room at the table, and that was reserved for those who Eron and Elke felt were immediate family.  That confined these monthly dinners to Tarrin and Jenna, naturally, but also Keritanima and Allia and their husbands, and Tarrins children.  That put as many around the table as it could hold, and as many as Elke could manage to cook for in the span of a single day.  Not even Jula was invited to these dinners.  Jesmind really got agitated about it, but the one time she confronted Elke over the issue, pointing out that Keritanima and Allia brought their husbands, Elke sent her skulking off like a scolded child.  She made sure to grind in the fact that Jesmind wasnt his wife, so she was only a temporary addition to the immediate family, at best.  And on top of that, she had little enough time to spend with her children and grandchildren, and she didnt need Jesmind taking away from that time any more than she already did.
	That had mightily offended Jesmind, but there was little she could do about it.  Any attempt to intrude upon this private time would create friction between herself and Tarrin, and Jesmind usually wouldnt risk that in a very serious way.  Despite their love for each other, there was no permanent bond that would keep them together, and she was well aware of the fact that if she ticked him off bad enough, hed throw her out, Jasana or no Jasana.  It was his house, after all.  So she had to walk a very fine line between pushing and goading him, and really making him mad.  And the more time passed, the more tentative that line would become, until they finally separated.
	Of course, the dominating subject of the dinner was Keritanimas pregnancy.  Wikuni gave birth after twelve months, about three months longer than humans, but their children were born much stronger and more ambulatory than humans.  The difference between them was purely a physical one, for Wikuni childrens minds grew and matured the same as humans did.  Just more opportunity to get in trouble, as Keritanimas nannies had always told her.  They had all agreed that another reunion was definitely in order, this one taking place on Wikuna, and coinciding with what was sure to be a Royal holiday.
	The other distraction was Miranda.  From time to time, Tarrin would pause in his training to reach out and assense Miranda.  It was easy for him to do, and those touches always told him more or less the same thing about her.  She was still drifting within herself, unsure of who she was or why she was here, just wandering the city of Dayis.  She was well and taking care of herself, though, and that was what mattered to him.  Her moral dilemma had not turned into depression, and that was a healthy sign.
	Triana indulged him in that one lapse of daily exercise and practice, but that was all.  Tarrin continued his demanding training regimen, splitting his days between grueling, backbreaking labor and mental exercises and practice with Druidic magic and the theory of the layered spell.
	It was easy to lose track of time that way, as days blurred together and all seemed the same.  That winter was unnaturally cold and almost mercilessly snowy.  Aldreth got its share of snow, but that winter was almost ridiculous in the accumulation that piled up over the months.  At one point, just a few days before the day of the new year, it was so deep that the snow stood taller on the edge of Tarrins magical meadow than Jasana.  It was up to Julas waist.  It got so bad that Mist was forced to return to the house for a brief amount of time with Eron, but she only stayed about two rides, and she wouldnt stay in the same room with Jesmind at all.
	It was just after the start of the new year that Triana seemed satisfied with Tarrins progress, and finally started preparing him for his very first attempt at a layered spell.  Her preparations lasted almost five days, as she meticulously taught him the spell he was going to use, a simple spell that changed mud into hard stone.  There was a similar spell in Sorcery for doing that, and Tarrin was curious to see which one would be easier to cast.
	On a blustery, overcast day, Triana had Tarrin out behind the house with a wooden pail full of mud and a very tight expression on her face.  He knew that this first attempt would be the most dangerous, and he could almost smell her power as she seemed to wrap herself up in it, preparing to intervene in case Tarrin lost control of the magic.  There was little she could do about it, but there were a few very powerful, very dangerous spells that would let her try to shape the reaction of the All to Tarrins spell in case it got out of his control.
	Remember, cub, quick and clear and precise.  Wait for the snap, then move to the second image and intent.
	Ill do fine, mother, he assured her, looking down at the pail.
	And he did.  Tarrin made his connection to the All as he felt Trianas tension, then set his image and intent firmly in his mind, the image of the mud in the pail turning into dark brown stone, and the intent that it come to pass.  He felt that familiar sensation of the snap, and then immediately shifted to the second image and intent of the spell, an image of the rock and the intent that the mud change into stone, not the more expedient course of drawing out the water and compressing the remaining earth until it became stone.
	The All seemed to shudder, as if it was shifted from its original course, and then it smoothly picked up on this new image and intent.  It still had the memory of the first pair within it, so it merged that with this new image and intent and then acted upon the combined information.  The All surged through him and into the mud, and it shimmered visibly as it transformed into the very hard, dark brown stone that Tarrin had envisioned.
	He looked over to Triana with a calm expression, but she looked about ready to dance around the back yard in glee.  She took a look at him and cleared her throat, then got her exuberance under control.  Very good, cub, she complemented in a dignified manner.
	You old fraud, he teased, which made her laugh, then rush over and hug him fondly.
	That was the first and most difficult step, and he knew it.   She had him practice that spell over and over and over, as she changed the rock back into mud and had him do it again and again, until he was too tired to continue.  After she felt that he was thoroughly competent in the use of a layered spell, she began to teach him the easiest of them, beginning his education in earnest.  She taught him as the snow just kept coming, day after day, piling up to unimaginable heights before warm spells melted the top layers off and turned the bottom layers into rock-hard ice, then it was covered over in snow once more.
	Of course, drastic piles of snow turned into a massive inundation of water when it all melted.  The river cities of Sulasia all suffered terrible floods that spring, though Torrian, being so far upstream, didnt suffer as badly as most.  That was the second of the distractions, as Tarrin was forced by Jenna to help her and the rest of the Tower to clean up Jerinhold and Ultern, which had been hit very hard by the massive spring flooding.
	They got off easy.  Cities in Shac, Tor, and Arkis were devastated by the floods, for a winter of snow in Sulasia had been a winter of endless rain in the much warmer regions of their southern neighbors.  When those floodwaters came, the saturated ground could not absorb any of it; in fact, it just piled onto the water that was already there.
	By late spring, the worst of the flooding had subsided, but Tarrin really didnt pay much attention, for Trianas training was getting more and more demanding.  He had proven that he was more than capable of performing this more difficult aspect of Druidic magic, and she continued to teach him many different kinds of spells.  It seemed that every day, he was learning at least two new spells, complete with exhaustive, repeated practice to ensure Triana that he had learned them properly.
	By the first truly hot day of spring, Tarrin had graduated from two step layered spells to four step spells, spells that were beginning to show the true depth and hidden potential of Druidic magic.  These were spells whose companion spells in Sorcery were occasionally very powerful and very difficult to cast, at the limits of standard Sorcery, but the Druidic versions of them were not as taxing as Sorcery.  There were differences, as there ultimately would be, but the four step spells were what Tarrin considered the true threshold before stepping into the Druidic magic that was at a level with Weavespinner magic.
	And among them was the spell that he had been most interested in learning, that clever, clever spell that Triana had used to move through the stone of the passages under the Tower and get behind him when he was raging.  That was the last four step spell she taught, because she knew that it was the one he most wanted to learn, and she didnt want him to lose interest after learning it.
	As luck would have it, Triana had begun teaching him that spell on the day that Sapphire had finally decided to come visit.  She had been absent all winter, and though Tarrin had been very busy, he had noticed this sudden absence.  She usually came to visit about once a ride.  She simply stepped out of the house as Triana taught him in the back yard, showing him the spell by sliding her arm through the chair she used to sit upon.
	Ah, I see youve begun his training, Sapphire said without so much as a word of greeting, as if an entire season was nothing more than a day of separation.
	Sapphire! Tarrin said in surprise.  Where have you been?
	Caring for a clutch, she answered.
	Tarrin gave her a slightly confused look.
	I had children, she explained.  Two hatchlings.  Theyre old enough for me to leave them in the care of their brothers and sisters now, so Im free to move around again.
	Oh.  Congratulations, he said.  Why 